As a marriage therapist, I’ve seen it too many times—people wait until their friends are wearing wedding rings or until midlife panic sets in before they “suddenly” remember to include God in their relationship journey. If marriage is a destiny decision, then preparation is non-negotiable.
Here are 12 practical and spiritual steps to help you get aligned, visible, and ready to be found by the right partner.
Here are 12 practical and spiritual steps to help you get aligned, visible, and ready to be found by the right partner.
1. Talk to God
Marriage is too deep to figure out alone. Consistently talk to God about your future spouse, even before they show up. Ask Him to prepare you, preserve them, and help you recognize each other. Stop treating God like a 911 service you call when your biological clock starts screaming. Start early. Stay consistent. Stay prayerful.
2. Let God Direct Your Steps, Not Your Desperation
Pray that God leads your feet to the right places, at the right time, for the right connection. Too many people have ended up in the wrong arms because they followed pressure, not purpose. Proverbs 3:5-6 isn’t just a quote—it’s a strategy.
3. Work on Your Character—Someone Is Always Watching
Your future partner might meet you before they meet you. Someone who knows them might be observing your behavior now. Don’t be careless with your words, rude in public, or spiritually immature. Gossip, constant anger, and pride can ruin more than your reputation—they can delay your destiny.
4. Dress Modestly but Impressively—Respect Starts with Appearance
Cleanliness is attractive. Modesty is powerful. Style is a gift. Whether male or female, smell nice, dress decently, and carry yourself with honor. Half-naked photos and sloppy dressing won’t attract the kind of spouse you’re praying for.
5. Smile Often—No One Wants to Marry Bitterness
Be approachable. Smile. Say hello. Start conversations. The fruit of the Spirit should reflect in your face and behavior. A good heart without a kind attitude makes you hard to discover. Don’t just pray to be found—make it easier for someone to see your beauty beyond the surface.
6. Get Busy—Purpose is Attractive
Marriage is not a reward for laziness. Be hardworking, focused, and disciplined. Pursue your calling. Build your life. A driven person attracts a purposeful partner. You’re not waiting—you’re preparing and becoming.
7. Educate Your Mind—Your Looks Won’t Carry You Far
Read books, attend seminars, follow godly relationship mentors. Know how to communicate with intelligence and emotional maturity. Good looks may open the door, but it’s wisdom and character that keep the relationship thriving.
8. Build Healthy Friendships—Don’t Just Flirt, Connect
Friendship is the foundation of lasting love. Learn to connect beyond the romantic. Be real. Be helpful. Be supportive. That “friend” you treat well today might be your spouse tomorrow—or introduce you to them.
9. Fix Your Emotional Wounds Before Seeking Love
A broken person will bl££d on the one who didn’t cut them. Go for counseling if needed. Heal from rejection, abandonment, or past breakups. Don’t carry trauma into marriage—it won’t disappear with a wedding ring.
10. Take Hygiene Seriously—Cleanliness Is a Silent Language
Deal with body odor, brush properly, wear neat clothes, and maintain personal hygiene. You don’t need designer perfumes—just be fresh and presentable. No one wants to “discover” someone who looks like they’ve been in hiding since 1992.
11. Expect, Believe, Prepare
Expectation is a magnet. If you believe it’s possible, you will act like it’s coming. Hebrews 11:1 says faith is the substance of things hoped for. Let your faith show in your attitude, confidence, and preparation. Don’t say “marriage is not for everyone” just because you’re tired of waiting. Expectation sets the tone for manifestation.
12. Become the Person You Want to Marry
If you want a prayerful man, be a prayerful woman. If you want a kind, supportive woman, be a thoughtful, secure man. You attract who you are, not just what you want. Marriage is not about finding someone perfect—it’s about becoming someone ready.
FINAL THOUGHT:
God won’t give you someone’s son or daughter if you're not yet someone’s answered prayer. Becoming is the foundation of attracting. Don’t sit around waiting—rise, prepare, and position yourself.
God won’t give you someone’s son or daughter if you're not yet someone’s answered prayer. Becoming is the foundation of attracting. Don’t sit around waiting—rise, prepare, and position yourself.
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