Written by Bisi Adewale
Marriage is a divine covenant, not just a human contract. It was God Himself who looked at Adam and said, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). Marriage is God’s gift, and when handled with care, it becomes heaven on earth.
But even good, loving people, those who truly desire a happy home, fall into small traps without realizing it. These are not always big sins like adultery or abuse. Often, it’s the small, everyday choices that silently chip away at love, unity, and peace.
The Bible warns in Song of Solomon 2:15: “Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.”
These little foxes are the mistakes we don’t even notice, yet they slowly eat away at the beauty of our marriage. Let us look at 27 of them, so we can avoid them and build stronger homes.
1. Taking Each Other for Granted
In the beginning, couples shower each other with gratitude. A husband says, “Thank you for cooking this meal,” or a wife says, “I appreciate the way you provide.” But over time, routine sets in, and couples stop noticing these little things. The danger? A spouse who feels unappreciated may feel invisible. Gratitude is not optional, it is the glue of marriage.
2. Neglecting Daily Communication
Talking about bills, school fees, or schedules is not the same as truly communicating. Marriage thrives when couples share their hearts, not just their duties. Ask your spouse, “How was your day?” and listen deeply. Words are seeds, when you sow silence, you reap distance.
3. Not Praying Together
Many couples are prayerful individuals but fail to join hands in prayer. Praying together unites you spiritually, heals hurts, and strengthens love. The devil fears a praying couple because their unity invites God’s presence (Matthew 18:19).
4. Letting Phones Replace Presence
Imagine a husband scrolling endlessly while his wife is pouring her heart out, or a wife chatting on WhatsApp while her husband needs her attention. Presence is more powerful than presents. Love is spelled T-I-M-E.
5. Ignoring Emotional Needs
The Bible says in Ephesians 5:33: “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” This verse reveals the deepest needs: men crave respect, women crave love. When those needs are ignored, even unintentionally, cracks appear.
6. Allowing Children to Come Between Them
Children are gifts, but they are not replacements for your spouse. Some couples focus all attention on their kids, forgetting that one day, the children will leave. If you don’t nurture your love, you may become strangers when the nest is empty.
7. Failing to Say “I’m Sorry”
Many people think an apology reduces their dignity. In truth, refusing to apologize reduces intimacy. A simple, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” can heal wounds pride will only deepen.
8. Neglecting Intimacy
Sex in marriage is holy, not dirty. Withholding it, trivializing it, or using it as a weapon wounds deeply. Paul warns in 1 Corinthians 7:5: “Do not deprive each other…” Intimacy is not just about the body; it reassures the heart and builds trust.
9. Comparing Your Marriage to Others
The grass often looks greener on the other side because it is watered. Comparing your spouse to another person, whether a friend, a colleague, or someone online, breeds resentment. Your marriage is unique; nurture it instead of comparing it.
10. Keeping Secrets
A “small” secret, like hiding a purchase or a conversation, may look harmless, but it plants seeds of distrust. Genesis 2:25 says, “Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” Nakedness here means transparency. Secrets destroy trust.
11. Allowing In-Laws to Control Decisions
Loving your parents is biblical, but allowing them to dictate your marriage decisions is dangerous. A man must “leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife” (Genesis 2:24). Without boundaries, your marriage will always be at risk.
12. Not Celebrating Each Other
Marriage should not only be about enduring responsibilities, it should be about joy. Celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, or even little achievements. When you stop celebrating, your spouse starts feeling like a colleague instead of a lover.
13. Suppressing Emotions Instead of Talking
Silent treatment is emotional starvation. A spouse who bottles anger may explode later in destructive ways. The Bible warns, “Do not let the sun go down on your anger” (Ephesians 4:26). Speak, but speak with wisdom.
14. Criticizing Instead of Encouraging
Correction is needed, but constant criticism makes your spouse feel unworthy. A husband who only hears what he does wrong, or a wife who is only corrected but never praised, will feel rejected. Encouragement brings out the best in people.
15. Being Too Busy for Each Other
Work is necessary, but when couples are too busy for each other, their love starves. Jesus said, “What shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his soul?” (Mark 8:36). In marriage, what shall it profit you to gain promotions but lose intimacy?
16. Forgetting to Laugh Together
Couples often become so serious about responsibilities that they forget to laugh. Shared laughter is a sign of shared joy. Proverbs 17:22 says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine.” A home without laughter is a hospital.
17. Unhealthy Friendships
A “harmless” opposite-sex friendship can open the door to temptation. Protect your marriage with boundaries. Remember: Eve didn’t plan to sin; it started with a conversation.
18. Ignoring Small Acts of Kindness
Opening the car door, helping in the kitchen, or sending a short text that says “I miss you” may look small, but they build romance. When ignored, marriage becomes mechanical.
19. Talking Harshly
Tone kills faster than words. Saying, “Can’t you ever get it right?” cuts deeper than silence. Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
20. Failing to Grow Spiritually Together
Couples sometimes grow spiritually apart—one grows closer to God while the other drifts. This imbalance creates tension. Make it a habit to study the Bible, attend church, and share revelations together.
21. Assuming Love Alone Will Sustain Marriage
Love is the seed, but patience, forgiveness, and wisdom are the water and sunlight. No matter how strong love feels at the beginning, without cultivation, it dies.
22. Not Setting Boundaries with Work or Ministry
Even church work can become an enemy of marriage if it consumes all your time. Your first ministry is your home. Paul warns in 1 Timothy 3 that leaders must manage their own households well.
23. Forgetting to Dream Together
A couple that no longer talks about the future is a couple drifting apart. Dreaming gives direction. Whether it’s starting a business, building a house, or planning a family trip, keep dreaming together.
24. Not Protecting Marriage Privacy
Running to friends or social media to complain about your spouse is betrayal. Some couples share everything with outsiders but leave their spouse in the dark. Guard your marriage secrets like treasures.
25. Failing to Forgive Quickly
Unforgiveness is like carrying poison, hoping the other person dies. A marriage filled with grudges is like a house with termites, it looks fine outside but is crumbling inside. Forgive as Christ forgave you (Colossians 3:13).
26. Neglecting Self-Care
Looking attractive, staying healthy, and taking care of yourself is not vanity, it is love. A husband who neglects his health or a wife who refuses self-care burdens the marriage unnecessarily.
27. Forgetting the Covenant Nature of Marriage
Marriage is not just romance, it is a covenant sealed before God. Malachi 2:14 calls your spouse your “partner in covenant.” When you see your marriage as sacred, you will handle it with reverence, forgiveness, and patience.
Final Word
Beloved, none of us is perfect. Even the most loving couples make mistakes. But wisdom is learning to recognize and correct them quickly. Marriage is not meant to be endured but enjoyed. With God at the center, and with daily intentional love, your marriage can be a taste of heaven on earth.
Psalm 127:1 reminds us: “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.”
So let us hand our marriages to the Lord, avoid these mistakes, and choose daily to love intentionally.
Which of these mistakes do you think couples make most without realizing? Share this with your spouse or with another couple, it might save a marriage today.
Please share this until it reaches every man. Someone’s home may be saved today.
#MarriageWisdom #PastorBisiAdewale #WisdomForCouples #familyboosters
Marriage is a divine covenant, not just a human contract. It was God Himself who looked at Adam and said, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). Marriage is God’s gift, and when handled with care, it becomes heaven on earth.
But even good, loving people, those who truly desire a happy home, fall into small traps without realizing it. These are not always big sins like adultery or abuse. Often, it’s the small, everyday choices that silently chip away at love, unity, and peace.
The Bible warns in Song of Solomon 2:15: “Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.”
These little foxes are the mistakes we don’t even notice, yet they slowly eat away at the beauty of our marriage. Let us look at 27 of them, so we can avoid them and build stronger homes.
1. Taking Each Other for Granted
In the beginning, couples shower each other with gratitude. A husband says, “Thank you for cooking this meal,” or a wife says, “I appreciate the way you provide.” But over time, routine sets in, and couples stop noticing these little things. The danger? A spouse who feels unappreciated may feel invisible. Gratitude is not optional, it is the glue of marriage.
2. Neglecting Daily Communication
Talking about bills, school fees, or schedules is not the same as truly communicating. Marriage thrives when couples share their hearts, not just their duties. Ask your spouse, “How was your day?” and listen deeply. Words are seeds, when you sow silence, you reap distance.
3. Not Praying Together
Many couples are prayerful individuals but fail to join hands in prayer. Praying together unites you spiritually, heals hurts, and strengthens love. The devil fears a praying couple because their unity invites God’s presence (Matthew 18:19).
4. Letting Phones Replace Presence
Imagine a husband scrolling endlessly while his wife is pouring her heart out, or a wife chatting on WhatsApp while her husband needs her attention. Presence is more powerful than presents. Love is spelled T-I-M-E.
5. Ignoring Emotional Needs
The Bible says in Ephesians 5:33: “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” This verse reveals the deepest needs: men crave respect, women crave love. When those needs are ignored, even unintentionally, cracks appear.
6. Allowing Children to Come Between Them
Children are gifts, but they are not replacements for your spouse. Some couples focus all attention on their kids, forgetting that one day, the children will leave. If you don’t nurture your love, you may become strangers when the nest is empty.
7. Failing to Say “I’m Sorry”
Many people think an apology reduces their dignity. In truth, refusing to apologize reduces intimacy. A simple, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” can heal wounds pride will only deepen.
8. Neglecting Intimacy
Sex in marriage is holy, not dirty. Withholding it, trivializing it, or using it as a weapon wounds deeply. Paul warns in 1 Corinthians 7:5: “Do not deprive each other…” Intimacy is not just about the body; it reassures the heart and builds trust.
9. Comparing Your Marriage to Others
The grass often looks greener on the other side because it is watered. Comparing your spouse to another person, whether a friend, a colleague, or someone online, breeds resentment. Your marriage is unique; nurture it instead of comparing it.
10. Keeping Secrets
A “small” secret, like hiding a purchase or a conversation, may look harmless, but it plants seeds of distrust. Genesis 2:25 says, “Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” Nakedness here means transparency. Secrets destroy trust.
11. Allowing In-Laws to Control Decisions
Loving your parents is biblical, but allowing them to dictate your marriage decisions is dangerous. A man must “leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife” (Genesis 2:24). Without boundaries, your marriage will always be at risk.
12. Not Celebrating Each Other
Marriage should not only be about enduring responsibilities, it should be about joy. Celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, or even little achievements. When you stop celebrating, your spouse starts feeling like a colleague instead of a lover.
13. Suppressing Emotions Instead of Talking
Silent treatment is emotional starvation. A spouse who bottles anger may explode later in destructive ways. The Bible warns, “Do not let the sun go down on your anger” (Ephesians 4:26). Speak, but speak with wisdom.
14. Criticizing Instead of Encouraging
Correction is needed, but constant criticism makes your spouse feel unworthy. A husband who only hears what he does wrong, or a wife who is only corrected but never praised, will feel rejected. Encouragement brings out the best in people.
15. Being Too Busy for Each Other
Work is necessary, but when couples are too busy for each other, their love starves. Jesus said, “What shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his soul?” (Mark 8:36). In marriage, what shall it profit you to gain promotions but lose intimacy?
16. Forgetting to Laugh Together
Couples often become so serious about responsibilities that they forget to laugh. Shared laughter is a sign of shared joy. Proverbs 17:22 says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine.” A home without laughter is a hospital.
17. Unhealthy Friendships
A “harmless” opposite-sex friendship can open the door to temptation. Protect your marriage with boundaries. Remember: Eve didn’t plan to sin; it started with a conversation.
18. Ignoring Small Acts of Kindness
Opening the car door, helping in the kitchen, or sending a short text that says “I miss you” may look small, but they build romance. When ignored, marriage becomes mechanical.
19. Talking Harshly
Tone kills faster than words. Saying, “Can’t you ever get it right?” cuts deeper than silence. Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
20. Failing to Grow Spiritually Together
Couples sometimes grow spiritually apart—one grows closer to God while the other drifts. This imbalance creates tension. Make it a habit to study the Bible, attend church, and share revelations together.
21. Assuming Love Alone Will Sustain Marriage
Love is the seed, but patience, forgiveness, and wisdom are the water and sunlight. No matter how strong love feels at the beginning, without cultivation, it dies.
22. Not Setting Boundaries with Work or Ministry
Even church work can become an enemy of marriage if it consumes all your time. Your first ministry is your home. Paul warns in 1 Timothy 3 that leaders must manage their own households well.
23. Forgetting to Dream Together
A couple that no longer talks about the future is a couple drifting apart. Dreaming gives direction. Whether it’s starting a business, building a house, or planning a family trip, keep dreaming together.
24. Not Protecting Marriage Privacy
Running to friends or social media to complain about your spouse is betrayal. Some couples share everything with outsiders but leave their spouse in the dark. Guard your marriage secrets like treasures.
25. Failing to Forgive Quickly
Unforgiveness is like carrying poison, hoping the other person dies. A marriage filled with grudges is like a house with termites, it looks fine outside but is crumbling inside. Forgive as Christ forgave you (Colossians 3:13).
26. Neglecting Self-Care
Looking attractive, staying healthy, and taking care of yourself is not vanity, it is love. A husband who neglects his health or a wife who refuses self-care burdens the marriage unnecessarily.
27. Forgetting the Covenant Nature of Marriage
Marriage is not just romance, it is a covenant sealed before God. Malachi 2:14 calls your spouse your “partner in covenant.” When you see your marriage as sacred, you will handle it with reverence, forgiveness, and patience.
Final Word
Beloved, none of us is perfect. Even the most loving couples make mistakes. But wisdom is learning to recognize and correct them quickly. Marriage is not meant to be endured but enjoyed. With God at the center, and with daily intentional love, your marriage can be a taste of heaven on earth.
Psalm 127:1 reminds us: “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.”
So let us hand our marriages to the Lord, avoid these mistakes, and choose daily to love intentionally.
Which of these mistakes do you think couples make most without realizing? Share this with your spouse or with another couple, it might save a marriage today.
Please share this until it reaches every man. Someone’s home may be saved today.
#MarriageWisdom #PastorBisiAdewale #WisdomForCouples #familyboosters
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