Written By Bisi Adewale
God designed marriage with order: the man as head and provider (Ephesians 5:23, 1 Timothy 5:8). When that structure is tampered with, especially when the wife becomes the primary breadwinner, it can cause tensions and unexpected outcomes. While this doesn’t mean a wife cannot support her husband or even earn more, problems often arise when the man abandons his responsibility and depends solely on her.
God designed marriage with order: the man as head and provider (Ephesians 5:23, 1 Timothy 5:8). When that structure is tampered with, especially when the wife becomes the primary breadwinner, it can cause tensions and unexpected outcomes. While this doesn’t mean a wife cannot support her husband or even earn more, problems often arise when the man abandons his responsibility and depends solely on her.
Here are 17 shocking things that may happen if your wife becomes the breadwinner of your home:
1. The Leadership Structure May Be Distorted
God made the man the head of the home. When the wife assumes the role of financial provider, she may unconsciously or deliberately take leadership decisions. Over time, the divine order of husband leading and wife supporting may get twisted, leading to confusion and constant power struggles.
2. Her Respect for You May Reduce
Respect and provision often go hand in hand. If you cannot provide, she may start seeing you as irresponsible. Even if she tries to respect you outwardly, deep inside she may feel disappointed. This erosion of respect can be silent but deadly to the marriage.
3. You May Lose Your Voice in Decision-Making
Money gives influence. A woman who pays the bills may feel she has the ultimate say on how money is spent and how the house is run. Soon, you may notice that your opinions are no longer considered, and key decisions are made without your input.
4. The Children May Respect Her More Than You
Children observe closely. They know who pays their school fees, buys groceries, or provides their clothes. If it’s their mother, they may gravitate towards her, respecting her more than you. Some may even challenge your authority by saying, “It’s mummy who pays for everything.”
5. Extended Family May Celebrate Her More Than You
In-laws and relatives may shower her with praise while silently despising you. They may bypass you entirely when they need something, and instead, turn to her, leaving you embarrassed. Over time, you may become irrelevant in family discussions.
6. Your Authority May Be Undermined
Exercising authority becomes difficult when your wife constantly reminds you of her financial contributions. Even without words, her attitude may communicate, “You don’t pay the bills, so don’t dictate.” This undermines your role as leader of the home.
7. Your Self-Esteem May Suffer
A man’s confidence is often tied to his ability to provide. When that role is missing, feelings of inadequacy, shame, and inferiority can set in. Some men even withdraw from their families emotionally because they feel less than who they are supposed to be.
8. She May Become Overburdened
Carrying the double load of being a financial provider and a homemaker can overwhelm her. She may feel exhausted, unappreciated, and resentful, which could lead to stress-related illnesses and emotional breakdowns.
9. Your Intimacy May Be Affected
When the provider role shifts, sexual intimacy often suffers. She may lose attraction to you because she sees you as dependent rather than strong. You may also feel too humiliated to initiate intimacy. This distance can create a cold marriage bed.
10. You May Experience Mockery from Outsiders
Friends, colleagues, or even in-laws may mock you behind your back—or to your face. Phrases like “Na your wife dey feed you” can sting deeply and affect your sense of dignity as a man.
11. She May Develop a Sense of Independence
Financial independence can gradually lead her to emotional independence. She may start making decisions without you, traveling without your consent, or even handling projects without involving you. This reduces marital unity and creates a dangerous sense of separateness.
12. The Marriage May Enter a Silent Competition
Instead of teamwork, the home may become a subtle battleground. She may feel she is “doing more” while you feel sidelined. These unspoken competitions can lead to resentment and bitterness.
13. The Risk of Rebellion Increases
A woman who sees herself as the family’s lifeline may begin to openly challenge you. Small arguments may escalate into disrespect, insults, or rebellious actions, simply because she believes her money gives her license.
14. Your Spiritual Leadership May Be Weakened
A man who cannot provide often loses confidence even in spiritual matters. He may stop praying with his family, stop leading devotion, or avoid giving instructions out of fear of being challenged. This spiritual vacuum can weaken the entire home.
15. She May Be Tempted to Control You
With money in her hands, she may start controlling your lifestyle, telling you what to wear, how to behave, or even restricting you from certain decisions. If unchecked, she may gradually treat you like another dependent child rather than her husband.
16. Financial Disagreements May Multiply
When she’s the one funding the home, financial disagreements become more frequent. She may question your spending habits, restrict your access to money, or even set rules on how you should live, all because she feels she owns the resources.
17. The Risk of Divorce Increases
Studies show marriages where women are sole breadwinners face higher chances of divorce. If not managed with wisdom, constant disrespect, loss of intimacy, and unresolved tensions can eventually lead to separation or divorce.
What Should a Man Do?
1: Get my book SUCCESS BUNDLE the bundle has three books namely: All round success, 22 pillars of success, Success catalyst, these three books will teach how to be successful as a man and never depend on your Wife, chat with +2348068312004 to get the bundle or see the link in the comment.
2: Take responsibility as the head and provide for your family your wife is to support you, it is not her duty to feed your family (Genesis 2:15, 1 Timothy 5:8).
3: Work hard, upgrade your skills, and never depend solely on your wife.
4: Contribute meaningfully, even if her income is higher, your effort and consistency count.
5: Lead spiritually and emotionally. Provision is not just money, it is protection, guidance, and vision.
6: Above all, love your wife sacrificially and keep God at the center.
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