Written by Samuel Olagbenjo
Dear women,
If you want to build a thriving marriage, you must learn what draws your husband closer — and what silently pushes him away.
As a professional marriage therapist, I've worked with many men who emotionally withdraw from their wives not because they stopped loving them, but because of consistent behaviors that made them feel unloved, unvalued, or disrespected.
Let’s talk honestly.
Here are 10 things women do in marriage that most men silently hate — and how you can avoid them.
1. 📍Disrespect in Words and Actions
Men crave respect the way women crave love. Talking down at him, interrupting him in public, or mocking his decisions can break his spirit. Even when you disagree, disagree with honor.
💡Try this: Speak to him the way you’d want him to speak to you. Respect builds trust and security.
2. 📍Taking Him for Granted
When you stop appreciating the little things he does, he starts feeling invisible. Every man wants to feel noticed and celebrated — not just when he buys something big.
💡Try this: Say “thank you” for small acts. Compliment him for effort, not just results.
3. 📍Constant Complaining Without Offering Solutions
No one wants to feel like they can never do anything right. If your tone is always critical and never constructive, he’ll eventually tune you out emotionally.
💡Try this: Present your concerns calmly and offer suggestions. Encourage progress, not perfection.
4. 📍Comparing Him to Other Men
Saying, “Look at what my friend’s husband did,” might seem harmless, but to him, it sounds like “you’re not enough.” It can deeply wound his self-esteem.
💡Try this: Celebrate who he is. Focus on his strengths, not someone else’s story.
5. 📍Hostility Toward His Mother
Even if his mother is difficult, att@cking her outright puts him in a hard place. Men often feel torn between loyalty to their wives and love for their mothers.
💡Try this: Set healthy boundaries respectfully. Express concerns without insulting her.
6. 📍Emotional Manipulation
Using silence, tears, or guilt to get your way may work short-term but will destroy long-term intimacy. Manipulation is not love; it’s emotional control.
💡Try this: Be honest about your feelings. Don’t play mind games — speak with maturity.
7. 📍Constant Nagging
Repeating the same complaint over and over in a harsh tone only makes your husband defensive or distant. Nagging rarely leads to change; it builds resentment.
💡Try this: Pick a calm moment. Say what you need clearly, once or twice. Then pray and give him space.
8. 📍Making Him Feel Unnecessary
When you always take charge and act like you don’t need him, he may feel emasculated. Men want to be needed — not sidelined.
💡Try this: Ask for his input. Celebrate his role, even in small decisions.
9. 📍Lack of Emotional Support
Men may not always show it, but they have emotional needs too. If you’re cold, unavailable, or uninterested in his challenges, he may shut down emotionally.
💡Try this: Ask how he’s really doing. Be his safe place, not his stress point.
10. 📍Ignoring His Love Language
Just because you like gifts or attention doesn’t mean that’s what makes him feel loved. Learn how he receives love — and give it freely.
💡Try this: Study him. If he loves words, affirm him. If he values touch, offer it. Speak his love language intentionally.
Final Words:
Men don’t need a perfect woman — they long for peace, respect, and a safe place to be vulnerable.
Instead of tearing him down, build him up. You’re not just his wife — you’re his teammate, crown, and closest friend.
💖 Let your love lift him. Let your words heal him. Let your presence inspire him.
You will not fail in marriage in Jesus name
Kindly share this message with your loved ones.
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