1. CONSISTENCY.
This is being predictable in your love and effort, doing good things for your spouse, not because that is what your spouse wants you to do, but that is what you have chosen to do in all seasons. This is not withholding your affection just because you are not getting what you want. This is not doing or saying nice things in the heat of the moment or when you two are solving things, then reverting back to no effort. This is putting in the effort, daily.
This is being predictable in your love and effort, doing good things for your spouse, not because that is what your spouse wants you to do, but that is what you have chosen to do in all seasons. This is not withholding your affection just because you are not getting what you want. This is not doing or saying nice things in the heat of the moment or when you two are solving things, then reverting back to no effort. This is putting in the effort, daily.
2. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.
This is regulating one's emotions and not allowing the emotions to make one overreact, give silent treatment, escalate tension, insult or do irrational things. This is taking charge of one's emotions so that the marriage doesn’t sink because of feelings that come and go.
3. THOUGHTFULNESS.
This is paying attention to your spouse's detail. Listening. Being sensitive to the needs of your spouse, not just your own. This is including your spouse in your equations, and thinking of ways to make life easier for your spouse, ways to make your spouse smile, meeting your spouse's needs without them asking.
4. TEACHABILITY.
This is knowing that you don't know everything, being humble enough to accept correction. This is approaching conversations with an open mind, seeking to understand. This is allowing your spouse to teach you, to bring to your attention your blindspots, to improve on your weaknesses and show you the way.
5. EMPATHY.
This is caring about your spouse's pain and tears. This is being moved by your spouse's struggles, connecting with your spouse when they are low or feel frustrated. This is not only asking your spouse "Are you OK?", but also helping your spouse to be OK. This makes you a safe space.
6. VULNERABILITY.
This is sharing with your spouse your fears, concerns, dreams, desires, prayer requests and life journey. This letting your spouse in so that you get to be known at a deeper level.
7. PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.
This is putting in the work on yourself so that you show up in the best way possible for your spouse and children. This is not needing supervision for the things you cannot delegate to another person. This makes you easier to do life with.
8. RESPECT.
This is unconditionally treating your spouse with honour, especially during storms or arguments. This is choosing not to forget the value of your spouse. This is holding your spouse in high regard as a priority.
9. SELF-AWARENESS.
This is paying attention to self, being able to know your triggers, weaknesses, short comings, potential red flags so that you don’t let them ruin your spouse. This is also knowing one's greatness, having a healthy self esteem, being confident in you, knowing your value, being secure in yourself so that you don’t see your spouse as a threat.
10. DIPLOMACY.
This is wanting to resolve issues quickly, offering an olive branch, looking for ways to repair and reconcile. Hearing your spouse as much as you want to be heard as after.... read more
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