The Day I Realized I Was Cheating On My Husband .

We ladies love to talk
We love to be interactive
That's why chats are a big deal to us
We love to emotionally connect
I love my husband, I really do
But I slipped
Without knowing
I gave myself to another
My husband and I have been married for years
Our conversations had become dry
I needed the wetness of an emotional stimulation
I got that wetness from a stranger
A strange man, who shouldn't have penetrated through my mind
It started off as a simple Hi on Facebook
We exchanged numbers, and took it to WhatsApp
This strange man, he started asking me questions
Personal questions
We women love to be the center of attention
So I loved it
This strange man
He would send me jokes, good stories
He would check up on me, ask me how I am doing

Ask if I have eaten, how my day was
I volunteered the information
Slowly, I was letting down my guard
I was becoming comfortable with him
I started forgetting I am married
I would wake up on my marriage bed
Instead of looking at my husband's lips that I loved to kiss
I would look for my phone
Just to read an early morning message from the strange man
He would send me an inspirational quote each morning
I would smile reading his messages
"You are married, why are you doing this?"
I told myself but this strange man was pulling me
This strange man
He knew my schedule and that of my husband
So he knew exactly what time to call me on the phone
And we'd talk for hours, heart to heart stuff
I began to open up to him
He knew more about my day than my husband did
I made sure my phone had bundles
So that me and the strange man could keep on chatting
I started to bad mouth my husband to him
I told the strange man secrets about my marriage
For some strange reason, I kept talking about my husband's shortcomings
The strange man become my place to vent
We would talk about my husband
The strange man would tell me what my husband is doing is wrong
How if he was my husband he would treat me better
He made me magnify my husband's weaknesses
Me and the strange man started meeting face to face often
I tried hard that we don't meet in a private place 
To try and console myself that I am still faithful to my husband
Though I kept the meetings secret
I started to justify why I am spending so much time with this strange man
I argued that my husband is boring, busy, the same old
But a part of me asked myself
"How would you feel if your husband was doing this with another woman?" 
But we women, sometimes we have double standards
I argued with myself that I can handle it
That women have more self control than men
"The strange man is just a friend" I convinced myself
My phone suddenly had a pin code as security
I knew my husband wouldn't like the messages
The messages between me and the strange man
That had got me distracted in my marriage
My husband and children started complaining
Saying I was spending too much time with the phone
But when someone is having an affair
They don't notice how obvious their slipping is
My husband felt I was becoming distant
That led to me being defensive and doing good for him to cover up
We started having frequent fights
People know when their spouse is slipping away
Each fight with my husband led me to the strange man
I would run to the strange man for comfort
Slowly I started to love playing the victim
I played the damsel in distress and the strange man was my hero
He would take me out for lunch just to make me smile
This charming strange man said all the right words
I'd get excited to receive a message from him
It felt like I was dating another man though married to my husband
"It's not like I am sleeping with him. We're just friends"
I told myself as things got closer between me and the strange man
He got to know my personal details
Including the underwear I wear
I refused to call what I was doing as having an affair
Even when we started sending each other love songs
I blamed my husband for creating a vacuum
But I knew I was just being selfish
Until last Friday
When I found myself pulling down my underwear
My fingers reached to the spot my husband licks
And I started to touch and rub myself
I masturbated to the photo of the strange man
I desired a man not my husband
When I heard my husband parking his car outside
I quickly came to my senses
"What am I doing?" 
I asked myself
I felt so angry and disappointed with myself
I deleted all the photos of that strange man
"It was wrong for me to let you in so close to my life. I am a married woman"
I texted the strange man
Then I deleted his messages, blocked him
I wanted none of this
I broke down in forgiveness before God
I prayed for my marriage
I rededicated my commitment to my marriage
My marriage will not suffer because a strange man distracts me
My husband walked in the bedroom
I jumped at him and hugged him so tightly
I was scared of the woman I was becoming
That woman had to go, I have a home to look after
Since then, I have doubled my efforts in my marriage
My husband and I are in a good place
It's amazing how much progress a couple can make
When they stay focused on each other
Yes ladies, we love attention and to talk
But that doesn't mean we open the door to anyone for a chat
When your spouse is busy and unavailable, understand
Work your schedules around each other, not looking for the next option
We don't stay faithful out of convenience
We stay faithful because we are committed to the one we love

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