The 8 keys needed to attract the right lady to marry as a single Pastor
About those of you who are ministers or those of us who are ministers in the church, specifically those of you who are single ministers and who are planning to get married to a lady you love and you probably have been facing this issue of some ladies not wanting to marry pastors. So get the following information correctly. Because of the peculiarity of marrying a pastor, because of the demand, the high demand, the emotional demand, the physical demand, the rigor of it, you need to do the following things for you to attract the woman of your choice.
About those of you who are ministers or those of us who are ministers in the church, specifically those of you who are single ministers and who are planning to get married to a lady you love and you probably have been facing this issue of some ladies not wanting to marry pastors. So get the following information correctly. Because of the peculiarity of marrying a pastor, because of the demand, the high demand, the emotional demand, the physical demand, the rigor of it, you need to do the following things for you to attract the woman of your choice.
1) Be an educated minister, that's be educated, be versatile. When I say educated, I don't just mean the English language and going to school. I mean be versatile, be educated, be aware, and be literate in different areas apart from your profession.
2) Develop yourself, your grace, your skill sets, whatever it is that God has given you, you must get ownership of it, have ownership of it, and use it well. This is very important because it's going to put you in a place where you are going to have an edge. It's going to give you an edge. You get what I'm talking about.
3) All right? So if you are prophetic, you are a pastor, you are a teacher, you are an evangelist, whatever you are, you've got to be able to do it so well in a way that it attracts the global attention it should have and I don't mean you begin to do these things when you get married. I mean now have these mentalities.
4) You must learn to make money, okay? And when I mean learn to make money, I
don't necessarily mean that you have to do business in that sense, but I mean making money is an aftermath of doing number two well, i.e. if your grace is at work, your spiritual giftings are at work, you know exactly what God needed you to do and you are doing it well. You stand a high chance of reaching people. And the more you reach people, the more you open doors for your prosperity.
You get that. And you must also teach your people how to give, not by coercion, not by forcing anyone or laying curses on anyone. But you must be such a visionary leader, supernatural enough that people see the God in you, the calling of in you and they want to partner with that and they want to be part of that. They want to commit their life to that. Understand that it is difficult for people to part with their money, even you, you know that it is difficult to part with their money.
Money is not money. Money is a derivative of life. All the elements of life; time, energy, creativity, spirituality, everything convert into money in the physical realm, everything that is of value. And so
because of that, you will need to harness all of those and be the kind of person that can make money. Understand that people have a fear that a pastor will be poor. Women have that fear. Their parents have that fear. And truthfully, many pastors are poor. And you have to understand that nobody wants to suffer. Now, there is suffering for the gospel in the respect of, yes, we all have to suffer, but it is not suffering based on laziness or suffering based on your incapability or suffering based on your inabilities. It should be suffering based on circumstances.
Maybe God leads you to start work somewhere and it is away from your family, it is away from what you are accustomed to, but it shouldn't be self-inflicted suffering as a result of your inadequacy, your incapability, and things like that. No woman wants to settle with a man who doesn't give her financial security. It's very important. And let me tell you something, as a Pastor, this is number four, It is difficult when the pastor doesn't have money because people around you need money. The church needs money, and people will not dignify you and your ministry if you don't also have money.
So it is difficult for a pastor not to have money. You get that. And so you got to have money and you
got to figure it out.
So it is difficult for a pastor not to have money. You get that. And so you got to have money and you
got to figure it out.
Now, I'm not saying that you have to have a lot of money, but I'm saying that there has to be at least
the basic comfort. There has to be a roof over your head. There has to be maybe a car, even if it's just a small one. There has to be food in the house, you see. There has to be a television. There just have to be the basics of life that do not allow a woman to feel agitated, that don't allow a woman to feel that she's missing out on life. That does all the woman feel that she has made the wrong choice marrying you. I want you to be empathetic to the sisters who are considering marrying you. I want you to be aware of the peculiarity of the life you have chosen. And then be empathetic with the ladies who are planning to get married to you.
Don't just say, well, I'm a man just like another person. Yes, you're a man just like another person, but you're a man with a different calling and a profession with its peculiarities. It's not like somebody was getting married to a soldier. A soldier is going to war, literally. I mean, there's a risk that he can die at war. There's a risk that he will never come back home. And those risks are valuable. So you have to
consider that in your demeanor.
5) You have to cut indiscipline and the idea of many ladies crowding around you. Maybe you may even have slept with a couple of them.
You have to really cut that because no woman wants to compete with the ladies in church for a husband. No lady wants to compete for husband in marriage. And there are pastors who, not like they do it consciously, put their wives in such positions where they do not know how to control ladies being around them. They do not know how to control their proximity to ladies and so they make their wives insecure.
I hope you got what I'm saying? So you have to own that very early because it will give your prospective partner a greater sense of security that you know what yes is doing his job. Yes, ladies are around them but is not having an affair with them and he has his boundaries.
6) You have to gravitate toward a lady who already respects and loves you. All right?
Some men are gravitating toward ladies who are not in your league. A lady who is
probably still thinking of getting a Ph.D. at Harvard or just somebody out of your league. You don't need that. Marry the one who gravitates towards you. Who already sees the value in you, who already sees the worth in you. Do you get what I'm talking about, who already has the demeanor of a wife to you, pay attention to that one and invest in that one because that one will obey you and listen to you?
It will be easier to lead that one than the one that will always put you on edge.
Did you get that?
Some men are gravitating toward ladies who are not in your league. A lady who is
probably still thinking of getting a Ph.D. at Harvard or just somebody out of your league. You don't need that. Marry the one who gravitates towards you. Who already sees the value in you, who already sees the worth in you. Do you get what I'm talking about, who already has the demeanor of a wife to you, pay attention to that one and invest in that one because that one will obey you and listen to you?
It will be easier to lead that one than the one that will always put you on edge.
Did you get that?
7) You have to develop your spouse for the life that is ahead of her.
You have to be mature enough to let her know that you are going to be a pastor, You're going to be leading people and you have to be aware of the prevailing circumstances around that calling. And so you have to talk about them with your prospective spouse oh this is the life of a pastor because some of them may not know what the pastor goes through or this is the life of the pastor.
Interestingly, if they really obey you, they will also come into leadership positions as they come into leadership positions.
You have to be mature enough to let her know that you are going to be a pastor, You're going to be leading people and you have to be aware of the prevailing circumstances around that calling. And so you have to talk about them with your prospective spouse oh this is the life of a pastor because some of them may not know what the pastor goes through or this is the life of the pastor.
Interestingly, if they really obey you, they will also come into leadership positions as they come into leadership positions.
They will also get to understand the rigors that the pastor goes through and they will also empathize with that they will also be able to help you in that because one of the major issues
with pastors and their partners is some of the partners are not pastors and so they don't understand the peculiarity of the challenges the pastor is going through. So when the pastor is going through different kinds of episodes, emotions, and all of that, they are emotionally dissociated. They cannot relate to it and because they cannot relate to it, they cannot help out the way they should and they judge the way they shouldn't judge, you get what I'm talking about. And so that is also very important.
with pastors and their partners is some of the partners are not pastors and so they don't understand the peculiarity of the challenges the pastor is going through. So when the pastor is going through different kinds of episodes, emotions, and all of that, they are emotionally dissociated. They cannot relate to it and because they cannot relate to it, they cannot help out the way they should and they judge the way they shouldn't judge, you get what I'm talking about. And so that is also very important.
8) This may seem very simple but very important. You see, women need to be loved. Women need to be given attention. Women need to know that they are not just going to be this kind of pastor who is going to be a military person. And I don't mean that you're not going to lead your home or be firm, but I mean the kind of person who doesn't joke around, who doesn't play, who doesn't dress well, doesn't have a nice feel. Let me tell you, women look at other men and they wonder, why is this not my husband? Do you get what I'm saying?
In fact, one of the reasons why ladies in church gravity towards their pastors is because many of the pastors in the new generation are high-rising pastors, many of the pastors were
internationally or nationally relevant or pastors who are just compliant with the generation that they are
in, you often discover that many of these Pastor, dress well, they look well, they talk well, they have a Panache, they have swag, they have a kind of life...you see..who doesn't want a man that is coming down from a Private jet, who has entourage around him, whose office is large, who has so far air conditioning system, who picks his phone calls and calls and about ten people, twenty people answers, you get what I'm talking about, women love
internationally or nationally relevant or pastors who are just compliant with the generation that they are
in, you often discover that many of these Pastor, dress well, they look well, they talk well, they have a Panache, they have swag, they have a kind of life...you see..who doesn't want a man that is coming down from a Private jet, who has entourage around him, whose office is large, who has so far air conditioning system, who picks his phone calls and calls and about ten people, twenty people answers, you get what I'm talking about, women love
And so if you don't have that, there is no problem but at least, project excellence, project a panache, alright, project a swagger, don't dress anyhow, look anyhow, you still don't know how to dress, you still don't know how to combine colors, you still don't know which trousers fits you, you still don't know how to wear a nice tie, you still don't know how to wear roll-on, you still don't know how to wear perfume, you still don't know how to have a clean shape, you still don't know how to take care of your health, you still don't know that you have a bad breathe, you are not still aware of the things happening in the world, you are just retrogressive, you are just laid back, you are just dull, or all you are just doing is talking Bible, you are not fun to be with, you see you are not adventurous, life with you is not a great story to talk about, hence you have to reinvent yourself and become that person that charms your spouse, that your spouse look at and say you know what "I would..., it doesn't matter who have toasted me in this life, I would not have had it better with any other person.
I was watching the birthday of Pastor Paul Adefaransi just over the weekend and I saw his wife, interestingly, his wife was a former Miss Unilag or Miss Lagos pageant winner, I can't really remember, very beautiful, exquisite, international and she was basically kneeling in front of the audience and you know just showering encomium on her husband that she is who she is because of her husband and a lot of that. I want you to understand the kind of versatility, the kind of soulish robustness that men have over that kind of woman to mesmerize her that way, do you get what I'm saying, if you are acting like you don't have an adventure in you, you are acting like there is no fun in you, the woman might be thinking you won't be good in bed also and it's a problem, having a man that can not satisfy you in bed is a problem.
So don't give up that kind of vibes, when you look at some people like Dr. Paul Eneche and his wife, you will see the way they bond, the way they play, the way they vibe, those are the kind of projection you need to have, you must be fun to be with, you must be adventurous, as spiritual as you are, you must be fun to be with, you must be sweet, you must be that kind of a person that when you appear in a place, a woman can say, "that's my husband", do you get what I'm saying, and this way, if you have that type of mentality I just gave to you, it will be easier for you to attract the right kind of sister and it will lessen the rejection you might be getting from proposing to sisters, do you get what I just said.
God bless you for reading.
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