Friday, August 26, 2022

Marriage Is For Foolish People - a must read for singles and married.

IS IT TRUE THAT MARRIAGE IS FOR "FOOLISH" PEOPLE? carefully read and learn new things about making your marriage or relationship successful.

About 2 years ago, at my previous place of work, there was a day we were to have a meeting. All my colleagues converged in the conference room. While we were waiting for the arrival of the person that would anchor the meeting,  some random discussions and interesting arguments about marriage sprang up. 

The women in attendance were about 20, with over 15 of them married. In fact, some already have kids in senior secondary.
So I threw a question to everyone to deliberate upon:
Me: Has there been a time in your marital journey that your husband (or his relations) offended you that you felt so badly hurt and you told yourself "No, I can't do this anymore" and you wanted to option out of the union? Have you ever had a reason to give up on your marriage?

Woman 1: Several times, my brother, so many times that I already lost count. 
Woman 2: There was a time my husband offended me when I narrated what he did to my mum, she insisted that I pack my things immediately and return home. 
Woman 3: If I should mention some of the things I've endured, you'll ask me why I'm still living with my husband. 

Woman 4: Hmmm, I have been through a lot...(she got emotional and burst into tears). 
At this point, I was afraid, that play has turned out to be a serious matter. Now, we have a crying adult that we must console. It was all my fault, I shouldn't have asked such a sensitive question. Though I did that so the few single ladies present would learn something. 
The truth is, I doubt if there's anyone who has been married for long (say at least, 5 years) that has not been confronted with situations where he/she feels like giving up on the marriage. Every long-lasting couple has a story to tell. 

Dear singles, please bear in mind that marriage is for "foolish" people. Marriage is for people that can take "shit". Marriage is for people that are always willing to shift their goal post and reach a compromise.
✓ If you can't apologize when you're not wrong,
✓ If you can't take a shit.
✓ If you must always stand on your right and not allow yourself to be cheated sometimes,
✓If you're the "For better, for stay, for worse, for go" type.
✓If you're such that you don't change your mind on something once your mind is set to do it,
✓If you can't forgive over and over again...
Please don't bother getting married. Marriage will only complicate your life. This peace you have as a single person, continue to enjoy it. 

I hope I have not been misunderstood. I am not saying married people are "suffering and smiling". Neither am I saying marriage is to be endured and not enjoyed. 
Of course, there are beautiful moments with sparkles, priceless moments that all the money in the bank cannot buy but there are also challenging moments. 

What I am saying is that it is only those that stick together during the inevitable dark moments that will enjoy the moments of sparkles. 
Unfortunately, some of us only let the world see more of the beautiful moments in marriage (and that's normal). So someone has to let the single ones into the deeper reality, so they don't feel they have been set up when reality hits. 

When you see couples that have lasted long and are doing well, before you scream "Awwnnn, God when", know that a lot of hard work, determination, and deliberate effort has gone into that union. It is not luck or coincidence. They have made sacrifices. They have assumed the status of a "foolish" person many times, just to make their marriage work. They have refused to let go. 
I pray that God will step into the situation of every couple experiencing a storm and restore peace in their marriage in Jesus's name.
If you want your marriage to stand the test of time, get ready to become a "foolish" person. 

1 comment:

  1. If you are selfless get married. If you are selfish don't get married and destroy your life and your marriage partner's life.