Nurturing Love: How to Transform Marital Conflicts into Deeper Connection..

Husbands and wives are supposed to be best of friends and roommates, besties, lover birds, playmates, gist mates, prayer mates, etc.

So, it hurts so bad when married couples are seen quarreling like long-time enemies. This is not the plan of God for marriage. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed and not endured, not even in a war zone.

This is not to say that couples won't have conflicts or disagreements because it's inevitable. Of course, there will be conflicts and disagreements at least once in a while but not for it to be the best attributes of your marriage.

Any couple that doesn't have conflicts or disagreements once in a while maybe sweeping issues under the carpet and pretending nothing is happening and that's very dangerous because it's assumed one of them is keeping records of offenses.

The way couples handle conflicts is what makes all the difference in their marriage. It will either make or destroy the marriage.

Unfortunately, many couples lack conflict management skills because they think that Marriage doesn't face physical challenges. They don't know how to handle disagreement before it will lead to conflicts and this has worsened some situations to the extent of divorce.

In this article, I want us to look at the best ways couples manage conflicts in their marriages.

1) What is conflict? The Merriam Webmaster Dictionary defines conflict as follows;

"A strong disagreement between 2,3,4 people, groups, etc., that results in an often angry argument."

"A  difference that prevents agreement." 

"A  disagreement between ideas, feelings, etc."

So conflict is a disagreement between two people or groups, between ideas or feelings.

In other words, conflict is when a couple has a different opinion regarding an issue and this leads to arguments disagreements and sometimes fighting.

2) What is conflict management? Conflict management is the act or skill of managing conflicts between individuals or groups of people.

That is, it's to manage conflicts in a way that brings about positive results.

3) Sources of conflicts. Conflicts occur when there is misalignment or incompatibility in the value system, convictions, personality, ambitions, orientations, etc.

When there's no alignment in any of these areas for peaceful agreement, conflict is bound to happen.

4) Results Of Unsettled disagreement that leads to Conflicts

1. It has plunged many couples into fighting to the extent of divorce.

2. It has blown little problems out of control.

3. It has led to the end of many marriages that would have been successful.

4. Sadly, it has also led to the untimely death of many people because they failed to settle the disagreement amicably before it led to conflict.

5) How to handle conflicts of any kind in marriage or relationship.

1. Listen to yourselves. When a couple quarrels, they hardly listen to each other to know what the disagreement is. They just shout on top of each other's opinions. You have to learn to listen to yourselves if you want to settle the conflicts.

2. Listen to understand your partner's point of view regarding that particular issue. When you understand the area your partner is coming from in that issue, that may be the end of the disagreement.

3. Don't listen to defend yourself but listen to understand your partner's points of view, his or her feelings, fears, concerns, wants, desires, opinions, etc.

Compromise. If you must be successful in your marriage, then you must learn how to compromise. It is very critical to the survival and continuity of all marriages.

What does it mean to compromise especially in marriage?

It means to give up something that you want to reach an agreement with your spouse.

In other words, it is a way of reaching an agreement in which each person or group gives up something that was wanted to end an argument or dispute that would have led to conflict.

Compromise also means to find a meeting place for the benefit of all, that is, to meet in the middle for the sake of peace, unity, and happiness.

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