Many couples who find their marriage in trouble think that closeness and fire can be brought back simply by having great intimacy. Many couples in trouble have had a wonderful lovemaking episode only to wake up and the marriage goes back to coldness. These steps could be a more practical way to get that fire back.
1) THANK YOUR SPOUSE: Gratitude opens doors. Thank your spouse for the partner and parent he/she has been. Chances are, coldness crept in because there was little appreciation. Thank your spouse for the small and big things
2) STOP COMPLAINING: Go for about two weeks without complaining and you will see the results. Don't even bring up issues even if they are there
3) APOLOGIZE: You may not think you did wrong, but if your spouse perceives that you did, say sorry. Coldness becomes the norm when people in marriage feel their spouse doesn't care about their feelings, apologizing shows you do care.
4) MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER: Be in the same room, be in the same place, even if you two will just keep quiet; eventually, you will open up. Don't be threatened by the silence. Conversations will not start if you're absent
5) GO PUBLIC: Something about being around people nudges you to interact with your spouse. Go for a concert, a stand-up comedy, a visit to a children's home, a charity walk; form new memories to talk about
6) ASK TO HELP: Ask your spouse if there is any way you may assist; to help with the chores, to help with a task, Call your spouse when at the Supermarket and ask "Is there anything you need me to buy?" It shows thoughtfulness
7) PRAY: You'd be amazed how many couples say they want a Godly family and yet they don't pray. Without God, your marriage will lack peace that surpasses all human understanding. Before prayer changes things, it changes us. If you need positive change at home, pray. This praying must be beyond praying for food at the table with the kids because when with children we edit our prayers. Go to your bedroom as a couple and pray
8) PLAY WORSHIP MUSIC: When things are not OK in the marriage the spirit is disturbed, worship music calms the spirit to better nourish the home
9) DO AN ACTIVITY TOGETHER: As your marriage was getting colder, you two drifted apart, Find a fun, fulfilling, or constructive thing to do together: A chore, a game, an investment, frequent movie dates
10: TOUCH: Go out of your way to touch your spouse, hug, rub the back; it inspires closeness
11) USE LOVING NAMES: Find a loving name to call your spouse: Sweetheart, Darling, Baby, and use it often, it automatically warms up the tone of your words
12) GIVE SEXUAL PLEASURE: Finally, having done the above and warmed up to your spouse's heart, strive to give your spouse great sex
13) BE PATIENT: When your marriage is sick and you give it the medicine of love, remember that daily doses of love eventually heal. It will take some time but keep persisting. Love is not an event.