I have discovered during one of my counseling sessions with some married
couples who have challenges in their marriage that a lot of people did
not prepare for marriage before they embarked on it, instead, they
prepared for a wedding which is just a one-day event with family and
friends. This same issue applied to so many intending couples I have
counseled.
For someone to prepare for a successful marriage,
there are things you should know, put in order, and or set up so your
marriage can be successful. Those things are;
1) Learn From Your
Mistakes No Matter How Small It Maybe. Knowledge acquisition is very
paramount in preparing for a marriage that will give you happiness and joy
throughout your life here on earth. I have heard them say that
experience is the best teacher, so whatever you learned from your past
broken marriage or relationship together with what you have also learned in 1 or 2 seminars you have attended should be able to guide you to
prepare for a successful marriage so you will not have broken home
again.
As a married man or woman, how many books on marriage have
you read since you got married? If you don't have time for books but are
always reading online on a site like All Singles And Married, a web
page carefully created to prepare singles for marriage and also
reveal the secrets of a successful marriage to both singles then you are still on the right track.
Here are the best possible ways to learn from your past mistakes and then prepare for a successful marriage:
A)
Reading relationship and marriage books from the Bible and the
best authors. Even in school, if you don't read your books you don't
expect you will have a good grade after exams, the same applies to
marriage, you need to read books about marriage and relationships, learn
new things, discover hidden things you don't know which are important to
you, find the information by yourself because they can't look for you.
B)
Attend seminars on marriage and relationships to enable you to hear new
things and discover new ways to keep your marriage alive at all
times.
C) Watch romantic movies so you can discover more ways to be romantic with your spouse.
D)
Make friends with those whose marriage is healthy and successful.
Your marriage must not be like theirs but by being close to them, you
will learn something to add to your own experience for the success of
your marriage.
No knowledge or experience is enough to make a marriage successful. That's why you shouldn't stop learning new things
every day so you can enjoy your marriage.
2) Establish Quality
Relationships With God. The best way to achieve this is by being
genuinely born again, abstaining from a dirty lifestyle, and living a life
free from guilt, backbiting, and regression. To make it easier for you,
you have to engage in personal Bible study, prayers which is one of the
ways we communicate with God, and constant fellowship with the Brethren
in the church or house fellowship. Learn to hear from God, and discern
between the voice of God and the voice of Satan. Your relationship with
God should be strong enough that when God tells you that this is your
missing rib you will not doubt it. By this time, you can awesomely
commune with God at any time and anywhere.
3) Discover And
Fulfill God's Purpose For Your Life. Before going into any relationship
not to talk about marriage, you should first discover yourself, who you
are, your goals, talents, and your future otherwise you are getting
ready to abuse yourself or your spouse. Know yourself first before
thinking about relationships. If you don't know your purpose yet, kindly
ask God for it and he will show it to you. Discover your purpose now
that you are single because it can be hard for you when you get married.
4)
Cultivate Attractive Good Characters. Your character plays a serious
big role in determining the success of your marriage. These
characteristics include self-control, selflessness, attitude towards
others around you, and addressing people with respect, whether you like them or not. Controlling your anger by not saying something you will
regret later. Your tongue should not control you, you have self-control
when you control your tongue and anger. Marriage is not a place to
express anger, otherwise, you will be the one to destroy your marriage.
5)
Learn To Have an Attractive Outward Appearance. Do you know that your
physical appearance plays a role in how you are addressed in public and private places? Dressing well and smelling nice with a good fragrance
is very good and it does not mean you are not having a good relationship
with God, nor does it mean you are full of pride. Wearing oversized
clothes is not a good way of measuring spirituality. Discovering the
best ways color combinations adds an advantage to your personality. If
you are the type that likes keeping low haircuts, do it well and make it
appealing too. Be clear in all your appearance, and be presentable at all
times.
6) Be Domesticated Or Homely. As a grown woman, if you
don't know how to cook inviting and irresistible delicacies of at least
your native foods, then you are not ready for marriage. You don't learn
how to cook when you get married but learn it before marriage. Marriage
is not a playground for children but for those who are mentally mature. Even for men, you should know how to cook so you
can romantically be helpful to your wife in the kitchen, you are not
married to a maid so learn to assist her in the kitchen.
7) Make an Effort To Live With The Married, Either A Family Member Or. A Relative.
It will be good for you to learn the good part of your parent's marriage
if they are alive and are still happy together. Living with happily married couples will give you ideas of how sweet and successful marriage
should be, this includes how to manage money in your Marriage, how to
take care of kids, and how to treat yourself and your spouse even when you
are not in a happy mode. How to handle marital crises and make your
children and every other person in the family feel loved and cared for.
These are part of preparing for a successful marriage.
8) Be
Independent. This simply means being able to stand on your own without
attaching your life or looking for help from anyone else whether in a
relationship with you or not. You don't have to be seen as a liability
to anyone, but you can be an asset to anyone and this is the way to
achieve it.
9) Be Responsible, Take Responsibility For Yourself
And Others. Being responsible; financially, spiritually, and academically in the
following ways while you are still single will help elevate you to
success both in marriage and in your entire life. Avoid blaming people
for your failure, inefficiency, and incompetency, you are fully
responsible for your life and results.
Learn to lead yourself
successfully before thinking about how to lead another person in
marriage. You should know your left and right before thinking about
marriage.
The Bible in the book of Proverbs chapter 4.7 Says
that; Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all
thy getting understand.
Again the Bible in Proverbs.4.8 says; Exalt her and she shall promote you, she shall bring you to honor when you embrace her.
You
don't prepare for a wedding thinking you are preparing for marriage,
they completely have different preparation just as their name is
different.
I can clearly remember that when you were in school,
you prepared for school exams, job interviews, health, and other
spheres of life but did not prepare for marriage instead you went ahead
to prepare for a wedding which is just a celebration or initiation into the Marriage world.
So many will say that "Proper Preparation
Prevent Poor Performance in Life" also applies to marriage as well.
Don't expect to enjoy any marriage you did not prepare for simply
because you were not ready for it.