Divorce is not one of the topics I am very passionate about writing about or discussing because it makes me feel very sad. However, no matter how I feel about it or how others may feel about it, it's a reality in our world.
In this part of
the world, divorce is not talked about let alone understood it
well. Most times, without knowing the actual cause of a divorce,
divorcees are insulted, stigmatized, and ridiculed because our
society, cultural, traditional, and religious beliefs frown very much on
such Marital dissolution.
Today,
I will be sharing with you some of the major causes of divorce so you
can avoid it in your Marriage. This is not a comprehensive treatise.
Maybe someday I will do justice to this topic. Understand that spouses
divorce these days for various reasons. A visit to any magistrate
court close to you will show you that divorce is not a joke because the
traumatic experience involved is not something you should pray to have.
Now let's see the causes of divorce in our societies.
1) Cheating or chronic cheating.
2) Irreconcilable differences.
3) Lost of affection.
4) Domestic. violence or wife battering.
5) Unmet needs and unrealistic expectations.
6) Lost one's job or investments.
7) Childlessness.
8) Family interferences and manipulation.
9) Negative influence from peers or relatives.
10) Change in behaviors.
11) Lack of intimacy and Poor lovemaking between husband and wife.
12) Poor career balancing.
13) Neglect of family responsibilities.
14) Satanic interference.
15) Unfairness and injustice.
16) Lack of contentment.
17) Broken communication
We all must understand that officially speaking, the divorce rate in
Africa is around 5%. But we all know that over 70% of the African
married population didn't consummate their union through a registry or
given a certificate of official legalization. Most Africans are married
traditionally, and when they seek a dissolution of the marriage they do
it also traditionally. In some parts of Nigeria, many people who
obtained a government marriage certificate dissolve their union without recourse to a court of law for official dissolution. They just reach an
agreement between the two families and move on. So can you now see that
the statistics out there aren't accurate?
Whenever
a divorce happens, it means that something went wrong somewhere in
that Marriage which is now beyond the control of the spouse, whether
physical or Spiritual. Divorce shows that either one or both parties
want out of the union. Divorce shows that either love has been choked or
killed depending on the situation present at that time, and the understanding
or endurance level of the spouse seeking the dissolution of the
marriage. Remember that what may break "marriage A" may not break
"marriage B". It all depends on the two spouses, their mindsets, their
understanding, and their endurance level.
This
is my advice: Divorce can hit any marriage that is experiencing one or
many of the above-mentioned factors. As married couples, please let's do
all we can to make our marriages work and sustainable. God hates
divorce. I do not encourage divorce. Divorce is always a
very difficult period for all the parties involved. Please let's not get
to that difficult period.
Finally,
I would like to appeal to all of us reading this: nobody should
die in silence during a marital crisis. The best thing to do if not
capable of handling the crises by yourself is to seek help. Please
talk to your pastor, counselor/coach, or a respectable figure in your
life about it. There is nothing to be ashamed of that isn't working.
Please get help. My heart and prayers go to all the divorcees out there:
I don't know what caused the dissolution of your marriage.
However,
please understand that God still loves you and He will direct you on the
next steps of your life.
Tags:
Marriage