There are some things you may be permitted in your marriage that are gradually killing your marriage to the extent that you will be shocked when you realize the damages it has already cost you. For anyone who wants a happy and successful marriage, there are some things you should not allow or accept to take place unless you want to regret it later.
Below are those things.
1) Don't go to bed with unresolved issues. The longer issues pile up the messy things become and the climate in your home worsens
2) Don't involve parents or family in solving marital matters. Instead, see a counselor, a pastor, or a neutral person of authority who believes in marriage if you can't manage a breakthrough as a couple. Parents and family are biased and after you two have solved issues, they will remember the wrongs done to their son/daughter and it will affect family relations. Minimize the number of people involved in your domestic affairs.
2) Don't involve parents or family in solving marital matters. Instead, see a counselor, a pastor, or a neutral person of authority who believes in marriage if you can't manage a breakthrough as a couple. Parents and family are biased and after you two have solved issues, they will remember the wrongs done to their son/daughter and it will affect family relations. Minimize the number of people involved in your domestic affairs.
3) Don't make any big decisions without giving your spouse an opportunity to be heard and considered. This is how to build unity.
3) Don't use words such as "My" in marriage. "My car", "My child", "My house", "My money." Instead say "Our car", "Our child", "Our house", or "Our money" regardless of who contributes the financial support for that material. You two are a team.
4) Don't allow arguments in front of the children. Don't expose them to tension that will emotionally stress them.
5) Don't end lovemaking with your spouse with only you being satisfied. Both of you ought to enjoy lovemaking.
6) Don't use insulting words against each other no matter how angry you get. Your spouse will easily remember the insults spoken in moments of anger than the loving words spoken in times of peace.
7) Don't eat outside when your spouse has taken the time to prepare a family meal for you. Make it a habit to eat together.
8) Your relatives should not visit without you informing your spouse. It is not your home alone. If you want your spouse to be a good host to your relatives, consult with him/her about when the visit will happen and for how long.
9) Don't entertain another or flirting with others. You two are allowed to have a healthy social life and friends even of the opposite gender but with boundaries and transparency.
10) Don't sleep in different bedrooms, yet you are in the same house with your spouse. It sets a bad precedent and escalates the situation. Be like "Honey, we didn't have the best of days today but I still love you." You walk out to sleep somewhere else or kicking your spouse out of the room communicates rejection and disgust.
11) Don't let a relative stay in your house and always disrespect your spouse. Don't let your spouse be attacked at home.
12) Don't allow divorce when things get difficult. You don't solve problems by threatening to walk out. When you tell your spouse divorce is an option, it can easily discourage your spouse or make your spouse defensive. Unfortunately, some ask for a divorce not because they are serious but to scare and manipulate and in so doing plant seeds of doubt in their marriage.
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Marriage