You promised each other on your wedding day “till death do us part,” that's only when you are going to be separated but are you doing what you should really do in order for your marriage to last till death come? I guess you have the answer.
Every married couple has exchanged vows which were on their wedding day and it's promised that "till death do us part," is when we will go our separate ways but so far so many marriages, their dreams of being together "forever" have crushed by divorce.
Now the question is, how do we stop this epidemic of broken marriages which has shattered many hearts, made so many people wish they were never married, and also made some individuals think that Marriage is never for them. To bring it even closer to home, how will YOU protect YOUR MARRIAGE and enjoy the things you had long wished to enjoy?
I'm convinced that if you can avoid these common bad "habits" found guilty in married couples, you will definitely be able to defeat divorce in your marriage and then create a healthy and happy marriage that will endure through every season of life.
The 9 habits that lead to divorce which you should try everything possible to avoid are listed below:
1) Being Secretive With Your Spouse in Your Online Activities. Smartphones, computers, and other gadgets including social media and 24/7 internet access are great tools to help us stay connected with our lover, but they can also create dangerous distractions and temptations that are capable of harming your marriage more than you imagined it. The moment you find yourself having online affairs and conversations with the opposite gender or visiting a site that you know or thinking that your spouse doesn't like because it will be hazardous to your Marriage you are already in trouble. Be honest and transparent with each other no matter what comes your way. Let your phones be a tool to keep you connected with your partner and not the one that will cause any kind of chaos that will lead to divorce.
2) Division of belongings. When you and your spouse have different bank accounts instead of having joint accounts for family expenses, separate hobbies, separate friends, and separate dreams for the well-being of the family, then you are running the risk of creating completely separate lives which is going to be bad for the happiness of your Marriage. Marriage is about combining and that includes financial needs, but divorce comes in when things are divided. The more you can share your belongings together, the stronger your marriage will be for the both of you to enjoy.
3) Putting The Marriage On Hold because you are Raising Your children. I have seen marriages fall apart because two well-meaning people put so much focus on their kids and they forgot to keep investing in the marriage which is what brought them together before the birth of their children. How can you reduce your relationship and partnership with your spouse to co-parenting, and when the children have finally grown up, you discover that you have created an empty nest and an empty marriage. Give your children the gift that comes from seeing their parents in a loving, thriving marriage. Model the kind of marriage that they would like to be married to someday.
4) Leftover Love.
Some couples have what I call a "cable company marriage." Have you ever noticed how Cable TV companies seem to give you their very best deals and service at the beginning of the subscription but then after the "introductory period" ends, they give you as little as possible to still keep you around? Some married couples are great at giving their best at the beginning of the relationship which motivates their Partner to think of marriage, but as time goes on, they start giving the leftover love which then turns out to give a bad taste that will destroy the Marriage. Think about how to give your best to each other for the sake of your Marriage, this will help you guys to grow deeper in your love for the good of your Marriage, your respect and your friendship for your spouse shouldn't have limits or timetable, do it willingly and heartedly and you will enjoy your marriage.
5) Grudges And Scores against each other. Nobody is perfect, holding or keeping scores of the wrong things done to you by your spouse is a gradual way to invite divorce into your marriage. When our words or actions Causes become offensive to our spouse, then we need to be quick to admit our faults and seek forgiveness immediately, Don't allow your pride and ego to prevent you from apologizing when you are wrong.
When your spouse has wronged you, you need to accept his or her apologies without reminding him or her how many times you have been offended by him, with these, trust, faithfulness, and love can start being rebuilt. Don't allow bitterness to take root in your heart, it can destroy your marriage faster than you think. Don't use past hurts as ammunition in arguments just because you want to win the argument or for you to be in control. Let love, forgiveness, and truthfulness flow freely in your marriage. No marriage can survive without these things.
6) Trusting Your Feelings More Than Your Commitments
There some times when you will wish you were not married just because of the things you are seeing in the Marriage or the characters of your spouse which is not what you wished for in the Marriage, but feelings are fickle and they were never intended to be our primary advisor in major decisions making. "Feelings" often lead people into adultery and that's why it should be controlled.
The healthiest couples have discovered that love is a commitment and not just a feeling. Their commitment to each other perseveres regardless of what they are feeling for themselves. The strength of that commitment allows them to have a deeper intimacy, a stronger connection, and a happier marriage as well. So allow yourself to be more committed to your Marriage.
7) Making Decisions Without Involvement of Your Spouse.
Our pride can often convince us that we don't have to answer to anyone and that we should be able to make decisions without involving or consulting anyone. Pride has been the downfall of so many marriages today. Couples in a happy marriage confirm that every decision they make as individuals will have some level of impact on each other, so they respectfully and thoughtfully involve each other in every decision they make in order not to hurt their feelings for each other.
8) Trying To Change Each Other. From the day you start trying to change your spouse, you will BOTH end up being frustrated. As you have probably learned already, you can't change each other; you can only change your Marriage, and the part of your marriage you have the power to change is the part you see when you look in the mirror. Be willing to change your responses to your spouse's behavior. Look for ways to love and serve each other even when you have differences of perspective or preference. You will both probably end up changing for the better in the process.
9) Planning An Exit Strategy. The happiest Married couples have removed (Divorce) from their vocabularies. When we threaten our spouse with divorce or when we silently start fantasizing about life with someone new whom we think is better than our spouse, then we are ripped apart from the foundation of the marriage. The couples who make it work are not the ones who never had a reason to get divorced but they are simply the ones whose commitment to each other was always bigger than their differences and mistakes.
You can avoid divorce and rebuild your marriage to your taste.
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Marriage