To be angry is a normal thing, it is natural with human emotion but managing it is very important for your marriage's happiness.
For effective anger management, you should take notes of these things below.
1) You should Know the temperament of your spouse and yourself. Are you or your spouse hot-tempered, or slow to anger? This will equip you on how to better handle yourself and your spouse whenever there's a serious argument between the both of you.
2) Don't get comfortable using abusive words and insults; if you do, most likely you will use those hurtful words when you are angry. Decide that your tongue will be clean even when aggravated. It is so painful to have a spouse who tells you that you are "Stupid", or "Whore"; such abusive words and insults are hard to heal especially when it's coming from your spouse.
3) When you or your spouse are angry, learn to keep quiet or walk away. Refrain from talking lest you say something hard to tolerate.
4) Even as you walk away, keep the channel of communication open. Don't turn off your mobile phone or run away with no way to reach you.
5) Never hurt your spouse because you felt hurt by him or her some days ago. Revenge leads to more mess, hurt, and deterioration. Be the bigger person.
6) Resolve issues quickly. Sit down and have a candid talk no matter how painful it is.
7) Develop a culture of intimacy. Touching each other: A hug, a gentle rub on the hand or back, a hold at the waist; this warms up your loving spouse to you.
8) Pray. Amid your anger, pray. Amid your spouse's anger, pray. Prayer moves people.
9) Listen to worship songs. Worship God with songs. A spirit that loves God will be calmed down in an environment of anger.
10) Remember the bigger picture. When you are angry, it is easy to focus on the current emotion; but don't forget just how far you and your spouse have gone despite the challenges in the past. Don't throw away your love for your spouse just because of anger.
11) Double, triple check the decisions you want to make whenever you are angry with your spouse. Refrain from making decisions when you are angry, it will save you from regression.
12) Go out of your way to please your spouse. Do a gesture to your spouse that shows care and affection. Such as cooking his or her favorite meal, serving your spouse, giving your spouse a gift, doing the house chores, or leaving a loving note for your spouse, It always melts the mountain of anger in them.
13) In the moment of anger, tell your spouse "I love you", even if you don't get a response from him or her. At that moment, a lot of assurance is needed. Love is not only based on feelings but your commitment to truthfulness and faithfulness too.
14) Find it in your heart to forgive and to ask for forgiveness whenever you are wrong, and be easy to love. The sooner you do so, the better your life will be.
15) Keep off from throwing things or becoming physically violent to your spouse. Mature people don't cause physical harm to their wives or husbands. Be matured.
16) No matter what happened between you and your spouse don't sleep in a separate bedroom or sleep on a separate bed. No going to sleep on the sofa or in different rooms. When you two get used to isolation from each other, you will drift apart and gradually your marriage will tear apart. Have a "I am not going anywhere so we have to work things out" attitude.
With these anger management, you can always make your spouse have more love for you and even if your marriage or relationship is already hitting a rock, you can rekindle it with these guidelines too.