1) Never sit down on the toilet without checking for tissue paper first.

2) A profit is not real until the money is in your bank account.

3) Never skimp on your bed or footwear.

4) Don’t invest in the stock market that you can’t afford to lose.

5) Acting as a debt Guarantor is stupid; it’s better to either lend the money yourself or just give it to them.

6) 99% of your friends are no such thing. They are acquaintances or work colleagues.

7) Count yourself lucky if you have five real friends.
If it looks too good to be true, it probably is.

8) For men: a woman’s fanny has the pulling power of a team of horses. Don’t let your dick rule your life. 

9) For women: the exciting bad boys are called that for a good reason…you will never change them.

10) We have no rights in this life, just privileges that can be taken away.

11) Think carefully before acting as the spokesperson for others, especially for a group. If it’s so important, why aren’t they standing out from the crowd with you? In a nutshell, don’t fight others’ battles.

12) Don’t act, walk, look, or talk like a victim.

13) You will be judged by the friends you keep and the way you talk.

14) Life isn’t fair and the universe doesn’t owe you a living and is probably out to kill you if you’re stupid. They are called the Awards for a good reason.

15) Live each day as if it’s going to be your last, for one day it will!

16) Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

17) True wisdom is in knowing you know you know nothing.

18) Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.

19) The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.

20) You might not make it to the top, but if you are doing what you love, there is much more happiness there than being rich or famous. -Tony Hawk

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